Self-Care for Empaths, Witches and Other Sensitives

By now I am sure that most of you have heard the phrase, "If you don't take care of yourself first, you end up not being able to take care of anyone."  We all need a little self-care and I'm not just talking about bubble baths and expensive lattes.  Although those are both little ways in which we can nurture ourselves, for those of us that are highly sensitive, it goes well beyond that.  Our energy levels can be depleted quickly and we will have a harder time recovering from it if we are not practicing self-care.  These things do not have to be elaborate nor do they require an expensive all-out spa day. While self-care can be quite different from person to person, there are a few things that I have found to be useful and I feel that they could easily be applied to most individuals.

Grounding

There are many ways in which one can ground themselves and their energy.  Some can work immediately and others may take several minutes to take effect.  Below is a list of proven grounding techniques. It doesn't hurt to try them all out to see which one or combination is best for you.

     * Using crystals/ natural stones with grounding properties such as:

             * Hematite

             * Smoky Quartz

             * Shungite

             * Jasper, especially Red Jasper

             * Carnelian

             * Any other stones that stimulate the Root Chakra

   

 * Connecting with Mother Earth.  This can be done in several ways.  There's a reason why "Grounding" is also called "Earthing".  It can be as simple as placing your bare feet upon the Earth for a few minutes.  Sitting outside with your back against a tree is another great way to ground yourself.  If you have the time to commit, getting out for a hike is always helpful in connecting with Mother Earth.  Touch the trees as you pass by, pick up stones for examination, and take a few minutes just to stop, close your eyes and breathe in all of the nature smells around you.

 * Visualization.  This is the part where you envision a light coming down through your body and into the ground below you.  This is a process that typically takes a few minutes.  I have gotten particularly good at this one since it can be done anywhere and can usually achieve it within a minute and sometimes as little as 30 seconds.  If you're having trouble with this one, message me and I am happy to provide a guided service for you.

Cleansing

Taking the time to regularly cleanse your energy field and aura is a wonderful way to care for yourself and is imperative if you are highly sensitive.  Even with a protective shield in place, we can still absorb unwanted energy from other people and our environment.  This can be as simple as a mindful shower first thing in the morning in which you are envisioning the soap and water you are using to also cleanse your spirit as well as your physical body.  Water is highly restorative in this way.  A cleansing bath with candles and essential oils in the evening before bed is another way to use water's healing properties.  Creating a sacred space that is just for you is highly recommended for any other types of energy work you might try such as chakra balancing and cleansing meditations.  Using sage to smudge yourself within this sacred space is yet another way you can cleanse your energy field while also keeping your space free of negative energy. 

Physical Care

Taking care of your physical self better equips you for taking care of your emotional self.  Yes, I get that some of you may not be workout fiends and that is perfectly okay.  However, some type of daily movement is necessary to keep the home of our spirit in shape.  It will also help to expel any excess energy that may be lingering about.  There are simple ways to make this happen.  Here are a few:

     * Simple step counting with a pedometer (if you have an iPhone, the health app automatically tracks your steps for the day).  Be mindful of how many steps you are taking in a day.  If you have a sedentary job, make a conscious effort to take more steps by using the stairs vs. the elevator or parking at the end of the grocery store lot.  While these are not Zumba equivalent, it certainly beats doing nothing. 

     *  If your job allows, maybe take a walk at lunchtime, or if not, just take a light stroll through the neighborhood after dinner.  

      

     * Yoga (and/or Pilates) is great for the mind and the body and can help to clear your energy all on its own.

     * Get on a bicycle.  This is a fun and easy way to cruise your neighborhood and it gets you more active.  Install a basket on your bike so that if you only have a few things to buy, you can take it to the store instead of the car.

Taking care of the physical self also includes things like eating well and as silly as it may seem, staying well hydrated.  For those of you that detest water, try using an infuser to add fresh fruit flavor or even carbonated water with fruit flavor.  Green and herbal teas are yet another way to hydrate that is also good for you.  Limiting added sugar and processed food items will keep your body happy.  It is okay to indulge every now and then but it is best to eat a simple, well-balanced and healthy diet on a daily basis. 

Don't forget to include sleeping well when making a list of ways to care for your body.  Getting proper rest will ensure that your body has a way of recharging itself.  Our physical, mental, and emotional health definitely suffer when there is a constant lack of sleep. Set up an evening routine so that your body can wind down.  Try to avoid doing work while in bed or in the bedroom period.  It creates an energy in the room that is not conducive to a good night's sleep.  Also, limit television and other electronic devices before bed.  Skip the e-reader and go with an old-fashioned book if your nightly routine includes reading.   

Self-Acknowledgement

This topic is probably the most important of them all and yet it is one of the hardest to live by.  Why?  Because we often overlook our own feelings, pain, trauma, ect. in order to live out our daily lives.  We feel like we cannot get too wrapped up in our own issues because:

      1) it's selfish.  Okay, first of all, it is never selfish to take care of yourself (unless you're spending crazy money that you don't have while your family suffers.  That is more self-indulgence and not self-care).  Remember that you must take care of yourself so that you can take care of others.  Eventually, you wear yourself down so much that it will become nearly impossible to keep functioning at a level that is beneficial to others.

      2) it's time consuming.  Well, maybe, but so what?  This is for the betterment of you and your entire being.  It is worth the time it takes, I promise.  And you know the saying, "Rome wasn't built in a day."

     

      3) it hurts and is often complicated.  Yes, it may hurt and some of it may be very complicated.  Try tackling the easier stuff first.  That way you're at least taking baby steps.  If you can see progress there, then moving on to the harder stuff won't seem so daunting.  Find someone you can talk things through with whether it is a family member, spouse, friend, or a therapist.  Sometimes, just having that person that you know you can tell anything to is a relief in itself.

  

     4) there's a fear of not being able to put it back in the bottle once it's out.  This may very well be true.  The real question is, will there be any benefit to you by bottling it back up?  Likely, the answer is no.  I understand that you may want to "repack" some of those more complicated issues but, guess what?  The universe may not let you and YOU HAVE TO BE OK WITH THAT.  If it cannot be put back into its neat little bottle, then that just means it is truly time to deal with it. 

You need to take time to acknowledge what is going on within your being.  Talk to yourself.  Don't deny your pain, your feelings, or your baggage.  Dealing with these issues will take you a long way on the road of self-care to self-healing. 

Just a Few More...

There are a few other ways to practice self-care: 

* The simple art of mindfulness is one.  Be in that moment, right then.  Try eating mindfully, relishing every bite, all of the textures and flavors.  

* Set reminders to go off throughout the day that cause you to pause a moment and just breathe.

* DO indulge every now and then.  Order the dessert, save up for those boots you've been eyeing, get the expensive latte instead of your normal home brewed java, you pick! Whatever it means to you to indulge a bit, don't be afraid of it.

* Set aside time every week that is "your time".  Start with an hour a week and try scheduling more from there.  If you're a busy mom running around like crazy, that may mean splitting that time up into increments, which is fine as long as you're sticking to it.  Let everyone in the house know when that time is scheduled to ensure that you get your quiet, alone time.  

Those of us that are sensitive or that are constantly working with energy, like my fellow empaths and witches, are more prone to becoming drained than others.  It is imperative that we nurture ourselves.  We cannot continue to help those that we are supposed to if our own energy levels are depleted.  This makes for unfinished healing sessions, half-assed spells, and poor quality energy work in general.  When you complete a session or ritual, check in with yourself.  Do you need to do a quick grounding exercise or do you need to go home and sage?  Be realistic with how you are doing.  Self-care is an every day thing.  Take the time that is needed to keep yourself well and everyone wins in the long run.


Peace, Love, and Light.  Blessed Be.  

     

Wild Child Lost, The Disconnect from Nature

                                                        The Wild Child

When you're the girl that is always barefoot, can be found tromping through the creek during the summer, and more than likely running around with a reptile or insect of some sort, you quickly earn the title "tomboy".  I was always "that" girl.  The one that her grandmother had to explain to the reason why she could no longer run around outside without a shirt on during the hot days just before starting Kindergarten.  The one that excitedly brought in toads, grass snakes, and a variety of insects to show the adults.  The one that would lie down on the back patio at night during the summer when the tarantulas were out so that I might get lucky and one would crawl on me.

I was never one that was content to be inside.  If the weather was permitting, and truthfully, lots of times when the adults said it wasn't, you would find me outside.  The Texas heat never seemed to bother me as a child nor did the cold or the rain.  It was almost like I was completely impervious to the weather.  Being outside was going home as opposed to the indoors that just felt stifling.  If I wasn't outside, I wasn't happy.  There are times that I remember simply sitting in the dirt and just "being".  I would listen to all of nature's sounds and see how many I could identify.  I was a true wild child.  Bare feet caked with mud, dirt under my fingernails, and my hair a tangled mess.  Yep.  That was me.

I lived every day for those simple childhood pleasures, the ones we took for granted back then.  Remember what if feels like to squish mud between your toes or the feeling of the sun on your face as you lie in the cool grass?   What about sitting under a big shade tree looking at picture books, reading them as you got older, or even climbing that tree?  How about being out all day playing and then begging to stay out just a little longer for dusk so that you could see the fireflies?  Making mud pies, digging up earthworms, and playing with rolly pollies,  that was where my little heart was happy and my soul was calm.  It was an aching, desperate need that I never could get enough of.

                                          The Disconnect From Nature

In my short 41 years, I have been witness to a huge disconnect from nature in society.   This is beginning with childhood and progressing from there. My need to be outside, immersed in nature has never diminished.  If anything, it has only gotten stronger over the years, however, I had to "grow up" and "act my age".  I remember hitting 6th grade and being shocked that there wasn't a "recess" time.  You spent all day inside the school (which eventually lead to anxiety for me but that's a topic for Part 2 of this post).  This is how it was from 6th grade until the day I graduated high school.  You didn't get any time to just simply sit outside and be.  If you played sports then there was, of course, time out of doors if that sport required it but the volleyball girls were content to run laps around the gym (thankfully I played tennis).  Any real, quality time that you got to be outside was to be done on your own time, weekends, and such.  Not many people I knew wanted that though.  Girls wanted to go to the mall and the boys were usually where the girls were.  I had obligations to attend to outside of school... homework, boyfriend, girlfriends, work, and chores at home.  Even with all of that, I still tried to find little ways to get in some time outside.  When the weather was nice, I would sit at a small table that I got at a second-hand store for the back patio to do homework.  I offered to mow the lawn for my parents just so I could have that precious hour in the sunshine.   Needless to say, my time with nature grew less and less the older I got.

The really scary thing is, most people don't realize that this is happening or if they do, they simply accept it as part of life, the "growing up process".  I keep asking myself how and why we let this happen.  Maybe we would like to forget where it is we came from.  While we are "so much more civilized" today, we are doing more harm to ourselves than good.  As we "grew up" we began to disengage from the natural world. We were once a people that spent the majority of our time outside in nature, being one with it, appreciating it, and letting it help us to provide for ourselves and our families.  How did it become a luxury to have enough leisure time to be able to play outside, hiking, camping or simply sitting and reading under that tree?  Maybe you plan a family vacation once a year to some outdoorsy type location but that does not give us the time outside that we need, that our bodies and souls crave on a level that we once understood but have somehow forgotten or choose to ignore.  Our need to feel evolved and civilized fuels this disconnect from nature, setting us back more than we realize.  We called the Native Americans savages because of the way they lived but in reality, they are the ones that still had it right.

Another huge contributing factor in the Nature Disconnect is our need to have more.  We want bigger homes, fancier cars and just more stuff in general.  Why does anyone NEED a closet that is as big as my childhood bedroom filled with clothing that they will probably never wear, shoes, purses, and other accessories?  The simple fact is that they don't but feel like they do.  This means that someone is putting in more hours at the office to help pay for all of that.  More time at the office means less leisure time and in turn, less nature time.  I hear people say, "I would hike if I had more free time."  Meanwhile, I'm looking at their designer suit, $65,000 car and their 5,500 square foot house thinking, "Maybe if you weren't chained to your office to pay for all of your "needs", you would have more free time."  This is where that "luxury time" comes in.  What are people doing in the precious little time that they have away from work?  The "American Dream" has become the "American Greed".  I do want to make one thing clear here though, I in no way look down on those people that have large houses or drive fancy cars.  I am simply saying that you cannot state that you wish to have more time to be in nature and choose to remain chained to your desk.  We make time for the things that are truly important to us.

Our obsession with electronics and social media is yet another topic to acknowledge when discussing our disconnect from nature.  We somehow feel the need or urge to be connected all of the time.  The "connected" has become misplaced.  I make jokes about people having their cell phones surgically implanted if possible.  We can always be reached by phone, email, messenger apps, texts, ect.  We spend our weekends binge-watching the hottest shows on Netflix and our children can't go one day without the television.  Yes, I had Saturday morning cartoons but I would watch my two favorites and then be outside for the rest of the day.  Yes, I watch television a couple of nights a week but then I spend my weekends hiking and/or skiing.  Children, in general, spent way more time outside playing, getting dirty, riding bicycles, and just being children.  Now children are spending their time on the computer or attached to their gaming system.  We are using devices like IPads and our smartphones to keep our children happy while at the grocery store and then at home so that Mom or Dad can get work emails typed out on a Saturday afternoon when they should be engaging the kids in something outside instead.  While it is true that no one ever had to tell me to go

outside and play, the parents of today need to do a better job of encouraging their children to do just that.  I know this is a lot to ask considering the fact that those adults themselves are less engaged with nature. For many young adults and even those a bit older, nature has become nothing more than a hashtag, the perfect Instagram photo, or likes on Facebook.

                            The Need for Repairing the Nature Disconnect

While I understand that my need to be outside may be greater than that of a lot of the population, I cannot be the only person that has suffered from the disconnect from nature.  Every one of us needs contact with nature in some way to be whole.  I cannot be the only person that is taking note of what is happening to us because of this.  Studies show a rise in depression and anxiety throughout society in general.  There is now scientific evidence that proves time in nature helps to heal.  It lowers anxiety and helps with depressive episodes.  Providing help with these two issues is just the beginning of what nature offers in the way of healing our minds, bodies, and souls.

Stay tuned for Part 2 of The Disconnect from Nature where I will be discussing the problems associated with the disconnect and how to help heal it and yourself.


Peace, Love, and Light.  Blessed Be.


 
** Please note that while I may discuss nature's ability to heal, I am not a licensed doctor or therapist.  Please seek professional medical help if you are experiencing depression or severe anxiety. **

Conquering My Nemesis, The Journey to the Summit of Long's Peak

In the warrior's code, there's no surrender. Though his body says stop, his spirit cries - never! Deep in our soul, a quiet ember knows it's you against you, it's the paradox that drives us on. It's a battle of wills in the heat of attack; it's the passion that kills. The victory is yours alone...  Survivor

I am sure that some of you will recognize the above from the Rocky IV soundtrack.  I would continually listen to this song and think about the mountain that was ahead of me.  I live in Colorado, land of the 14ers (mountains with an elevation of 14,000 feet or more). I moved here right after Christmas in 2014.  That following summer I started climbing mountains.  I did 4 of them that year, the "easy" ones.  I put "easy" in quotations because even the ones that are considered mild can kick your ass on any given day.  Altitude sickness is a real thing and can even be deadly.  The first one I did was considered the easiest; it's the "family mountain."  An 8-year-old girl summited that day along with her dad and grandpa.  I was in what I considered to be really good shape.  LMFAO.  Nope.  Not even close to 14er shape, (there is a tiered-level ranking to being in shape here in CO- gym in-shape, hiking in-shape, mountain biking in-shape, skiing in-shape and finally, 14er in-shape).  I was not prepared for the level of burning and exhaustion in my quads, glutes, and calves.  There is a point on the ascent when you realize that your muscles are not getting enough oxygen and they're telling you to quit.  Long story short, I made it, took several days to recover, and was addicted.  

After the climbing season was done, I started looking up information on Long's Peak since it's one of the most talked about mountains.  This is a class 3 mountain (classes of mountains or different ascent routes rate its difficulty, 1-5.  See REI's informational page at https://www.rei.com/learn/expert-advice/climbing-bouldering-rating.html ) I told my then-husband that I wanted to do this mountain.  We had summited the previous 4 together and he had expressed interest in Long's as well.  "Are you sure you want to do that? It's a difficult mountain, a class 3."  "Well, eventually I would love to do them all," I said.  His reply left me dumbfounded.  "I just don't think you should try those types of mountains.  You don't have the skills or stamina necessary to do them.  Stick with the class 1 and 2's."  I nodded.  "You're probably right," and gave up the idea for a while.  

The following season, 2 more summits, Long's is still in the back of my mind. I stare at that mountain every damn day on my way to work.  It taunts me, "What's the matter?  Are you afraid?  Don't think you have what it takes to defeat me?"  Fast forward to the beginning of the 2017 climbing season.  On the books for that season was Pikes Peak, Huron Peak, and Long's Peak.  Yes, my ladies and I decided to bite the bullet and make the attempt at the brutal beast that is Long's Peak.  In the few weeks leading up to our scheduled date for Long's, we started watching videos of other people's climbs.  Most of it is just a straightforward hike.  It's once you go through the feature known as "The Keyhole" that it gets sketchy.  After scaring ourselves shitless by watching videos of "The Narrows" and "The Homestretch" sections, we canceled the climb.  My ex-husband's words blaring in my head, that I don't have what it takes.  Needless to say, this mountain became my nemesis.  "Next year," I said.  "Next year I will tame the beast. I cannot keep being afraid of that mountain."  

That fall my bestie and I ended up on a no-route, class 3 13er because of some jackass that wanted to have fun with "some girl day-hikers".  He gave us "directions" to the wrong trail.  After summiting, (yes! We did manage to summit because at that point it was just our stubborn will to prove we could do it), I kept thinking, Wow! We just did a class 3!  We researched other trails and 13ers we could do that were class 3 hikes and started getting more experience at the beginning of the new year and into the spring.  Long's was back on the board for the 2018 season.  I was gunning for the monster and wasn't about to let anything, other than bad or dangerous weather conditions, stop me this time. 

Everyone we knew that had made the summit of Long's Peak told us to make our attempt during the week. The trail would be less busy than if we tried on the weekend. This would make the sketchy parts safer.  On the morning of August 8, 2018, my bestie and I hit the road to the trailhead at 5am.  We had already secured a permit to camp overnight in the Boulder Field, just below The Keyhole.  With 40 lbs of backpacking gear, we hit the trail for the next 6 miles.  We only stopped a couple of times to use the restroom or grab snacks.  We reached The Boulder Field around 2pm that afternoon exhausted and hangry.  We set up camp, filtered water and took a nap.  Dehydrated meals for dinner and then to bed.  Since we were at the Boulder Field, we decided we could sleep in.  If people are doing this all in one day, they're typically starting around 2am. 

Up at The Keyhole

D-Day.  Up at 5am, breakfast, bathroom, dressed and our summit packs are ready to go (we took small packs for the summit so that they wouldn't be too heavy or getting in our way while scrambling).  After climbing up to the Keyhole, you come out onto what's called The Ledges.  This part isn't too bad but a wrong decision could be really bad for you.  After that comes The Trough.  Oh wow.  Intense is the best word for this.  It's a steep gulley with big rocks you scramble up for what seems like forever.  About 3/4 of the way up this, I had a moment.  I'm looking up and then over to my bestie with tears pooling in my eyes, "God Coley, we're really going to do this.  I'm going to summit Long's".  "Damn straight we are," she replies.  Onward ho!  Once you hurdle over the last boulder in The Trough, you come to The Narrows.  This is where the majority of the accidents happen.  It's steep, open, and fully exposed to drops of 100 feet or more. 

The Narrows

We go slow, taking extra caution when necessary until we reach The Homestretch.  This area feels like it's straight up.  It's a polished granite face with a near verticle scramble that requires you to use both your hands and feet.  We pause to catch our breath one last time about 75 feet from the summit.  "You go first," my bestie says.  "All at once, let's finish this," is my reply.  My boot reaches the summit and I'm instantly overwhelmed with emotion.  I'm crying, exhale a sigh of relief, hug my bestie, the amazing woman at my side that believed in me this entire trek, and take in the surrounding scenery.  Summit pictures include champagne this time instead of just beer or whiskey because this is a huge celebration for me.  As we sit enjoying the gorgeous views, the awesome weather and our snacks, we know that we are only half done.  We still have the descent. 

The Homestretch

We make it back down without incident, eat lunch and pack up camp.  Now we have to descend 6 miles with 40 lbs of gear after having done the 3 strenuous round-trip miles of the summit.  If you've ever climbed a mountain before, you know your legs are pretty much Jell-O on the way down so this descent was super fun (so not fun).  We finally reach the sign that says we have 1/2 mile left.  I swear this was the longest half-mile of my entire life.  We can barely lift our feet by the time we reach the car.  Done.  So fucking done!  The ride home is quiet for a while.  I was thinking about the feat that I just accomplished.  Wow.  I really did it.  I tackled the beast, slayed the monster, made the mountain my bitch and it can no longer haunt me.  When we finally do speak, she asks me how I feel, how I'd rate the mountain in comparison to the others I've done. I turn my head to her and smile, "It's now my favorite mountain," I reply.  


On a side note:  Please never let anyone tell you or make you feel like you cannot do or accomplish something.  Politely tell them to fuck off and go out there and make it happen.  Life is too short to keep sitting on the couch being scared.  Dream those dreams and then chase them! 

Peace, Love, and Light.  Blessed be.

**Disclaimer** Mountain climbing can be dangerous.  Lives are claimed every year.  Please research your trail/ route.  Know the mountain and what to expect.  Do not pick a route that is above your skill level.  Know how to use your equipment if it's necessary for the climb.  Most of all, do not keep going if all of the signs are telling you to turn around whether it is the difficulty of the trail, body symptoms, or inclement weather.  It's better to be safe than dead.  

Dog Poop Fairy

I am about to make a radical suggestion.  Let's stop using dog poop bags on the hiking trails.  I know, I know... WTF is she thinking?  I believe this started out as something good but it has gone so very wrong as far as the hiking trails are concerned.  Before you get your panties in a twist, let me tell you my reasoning behind this.

I am not sure how the whole "bag your dog poop" thing started but apparently it is a very taboo thing to let your dog poop somewhere other than your own yard and not pick it up.  Maybe it's because there are more people living in apartments/condos/ townhomes that also have dogs that must be taken out to a public space to do their business.  I do believe that more people are also bringing their dogs along with them when they go out than they used to.  Dog parks were not a thing when I was growing up so that is another possible contributing factor.   Maybe it is simply the fact that there are more people in general and more people equals more dogs and everyone wants a dog because dogs are fucking awesome.  More dogs out and about would, of course, mean more poo in public places which would get very messy, thus, everyone must now carry little bags while Fido is with you.

Don't get me wrong, dog poop bags have their place because of the reasons I listed above.  They are completely acceptable while taking your dog for a walk in the neighborhood, the dog park, or any other place in the city.  For some reason, I never see a dog poop bag while out walking in town and I see plenty of people out with their dogs.  Here it would be unacceptable to leave the poop bag on the sidewalk just as much as it would be to leave the poop.  This is the part that makes me wonder if it's actually a people issue.  Are we so obsessed with everything being so perfect that a pile of dog poo just cannot be tolerated? Shit on the sidewalk is not cool but in the grass, eh, not such a big deal.

While I agree that no one wants to step in feces while out hiking (I am always avoiding deer, horse, and other animal poop), most people don't want to see the assortment of rainbow-colored bags along the trail either.  I know I'm sick of seeing them but it has become the norm and I find this appalling.  How is it that it is unacceptable to leave them on the sidewalk in a neighborhood but it is okay to leave them all along the trail?  All of those dog parents have apparently forgotten the "Pack it Out" rule, at least where the dog poo is concerned.  I have a feeling that most of those people wouldn't leave a plastic water bottle behind but it's no biggie to leave the dog shit bag at the site of the offense.  Some of you might make the argument that the bags will decompose.  Maybe some of them but do all of them?  And let's just say that all of them do decompose, how long does it take?  I guarantee it's a lot longer than if the poop was left out to the elements instead of being tied up in a bag.  So, as I originally suggested, let's nix the baggies on the trails.  If you see your dog about to go #2, pull them off of the trail so people aren't going to step in it.  If you're not in time to get them off of the trail, then use a stick or something to clear it from the area.  Poop in the wilderness is not a big deal but the poop bags are.

There is NO dog poop bag fairy people.  Maybe as a child you were told a story about a grungy little fairy that lived in the wilderness that got rid of all of the poop bags but let me tell you, he/she DOES NOT EXIST!  There isn't anyone that comes along and picks all of them up for you.  If you are going to bring your dog, either pack that shit out or let's all agree to stop using them and be responsible enough to simply clear the path.  This has got to change and I know that I'm not the only one that feels this way.

Peace, Love, and Light.  Blessed be.

Pumpkin Spice Latte Anyone?

Cooler temperatures.  Boots, sweaters, and scarves.  Picking apples in the orchard and visiting a pumpkin patch.  Apple cider spiked with Fireball Whiskey (if you haven't tried this, you're missing out. Seriously).  Trees ablaze in colors of yellow, gold, orange, and red.  Halloween!  Pumpkin spice everything.  What's not to love about autumn?  Fall is definitely one of my favorite seasons.  Ok, I like them all for different reasons but for me, fall means the end of the relentlessly cruel summer heat and is the gateway to winter which I absolutely love.

With today being the Autumnal Equinox/ Mabon, I wanted to share a few ways to celebrate and usher in the new season.  For those of you that don't know, there are two equinoxes, the Autumnal and the Vernal (which is the one in the spring) every year and two solstices.  The Autumnal Equinox is all about giving thanks for what we have.  In Pagan and Wiccan traditions, Mabon is a celebration of the second harvest, the first being in mid-August and celebrated as the Sabbat Lammas or Lughnasadh.  It is a giving of thanks for a bountiful harvest and the many blessings that have been bestowed upon us.  To celebrate this harvest you can participate in the fall-type activities I listed in the first paragraph such as apple picking, visiting a pumpkin patch, and making apple cider.  You can also make a meal or dessert from harvested foods.  Think apple pie, pumpkin bread, roasted veggies, ect.  Equinoxes are a day of equal light and equal dark, balance.  You can celebrate this aspect by honoring balance in your life through yoga or a thorough house cleaning and/ or decluttering.  We all know that autumn is a time of death.  The leaves change and fall from the trees; fields become barren after the last harvest; all of the summer flowers begin to wither away.  Celebrate this lifecycle by honoring the dark.  Stargazing is a great way to do this as well as sitting on the patio at night with a nice fire going in the firepit while drinking some of that apple cider you spent all day making.  Other ways to celebrate the changing of the season include making a fall craft (see Pinterest for endless ideas), getting back to nature with a fall leaf hike, collect leaves, pinecones, and acorns, set up an altar honoring all that is Autumn, and give thanks by making a gratitude list.

Since I mentioned giving thanks, I want to take a few moments to sit in gratitude before I head out for my own leaf hike this morning.  Please understand that this is completely selfish.  Huh??  Well, I am trying to follow the Law of Attraction which simply put is "the ability to attract into our lives whatever we are focusing on".  (For more information, the Law of Attraction has its own website at http://www.thelawofattraction.com/what-is-the-law-of-attraction/).  In all seriousness though, I believe that we often get too wrapped up in the things that we don't have or the things that are going wrong instead of focusing on the things that we DO have and the things that ARE going RIGHT.  We are so accustomed to the everyday struggle of "keeping up with the Jones'" that we forget to be grateful on a daily basis.  Sure we practice this at Thanksgiving here in America but what about the other 364 days of the year?  So do me a favor, please.  Sit down and make a list of at least 5 things you are grateful for.  Here are 5 of mine:

* I am grateful for my two amazing children.  They are the lights of my life.  I am so grateful that they are healthy and that they think for themselves instead of just following the crowd. 

* I am grateful for my boyfriend.  He has shown me what love is supposed to be like and has helped me to heal wounds and insecurities that I thought would be impossible to. 

* I am grateful for my best friend.  She is my soul sister and fellow badass hiker babe and adventurer.  She has lifted me up when I needed it most, makes me laugh like no other, and has made me believe in friendship again.

* I am grateful that I get to call the beautiful state of Colorado home.  This place is an outdoor enthusiast's playground.  Hiking, biking, skiing, fishing.  So much fun to be had here and I am taking advantage of it!

* I am grateful for my health.  I do have asthma but thankfully it has gotten milder and is well managed.  My good health allows me to do all of the outdoor things that I love so much.  

** Bonus **  I am grateful that I could still go on about all of the things that I have to be thankful for.  My list is way more than just those 5 things.  

Well folks, my friends are waiting for me so I better shut this down.  I guess now that it's officially fall we can expect to see some Christmas lights going up.  Do NOT get me started on that. *Insert angry emoji face here*.  Enjoy this day.  Be grateful for it because there are so many that didn't get that chance.  

Peace, Love, and Light.  Blessed Be.  

How Adventure Saved Me

My soul was suffering.  Suicidal thoughts plagued me daily.  It took an enormous effort just to get through each day.  The same monotonous life, day in and day out.  Get up, get the kids ready, take them to school, go to work, boring fucking office job that I hated but still had to be grateful for because it helped to pay the bills, pick up the kids after work, make dinner, get the kids ready for bed, go to bed myself only to get up and do it all over again the next day.  Mixed in there, of course, are the other usual things like cleaning and doing laundry (so much fucking laundry).  There were gymnastics classes, soccer, basketball and baseball games.  Those did offer some rays of sunshine into what I considered an otherwise drab existence. Don't get me wrong, I love my children dearly and they are the ONLY reason I kept going but I remember feeling like I was missing something.  There was some puzzle piece that needed to be fit into place.

"We should try backpacking," my then-husband says out of the blue one day.  Me with a puzzled look on my face, "Huh? What are you talking about?"  "Backpacking.  I heard some people talking about it," he says.  "You get a big backpack and have all of the gear, food, etc. that you need to survive for a few days and you head out into the wilderness.  What do you think?"  I'm sitting there mulling this idea over and wondering if it's possible.  The thought of surviving out of a backpack wasn't the issue.  I was in love with the idea the moment he explained it.  The issue... we lived in Texas.  Not a ton of "wilderness" readily available, at least what I considered to be wilderness.  "Sure, I'm in.  But where would we go?" I ask.  So the planning began.

A few trips to the local sporting goods store ended up with a mountain of gear and supplies.  Backpacks, a cook set, fuel canisters, and a backpacking stove, sleeping bags and pads, tent, nifty dehydrated meals, the list goes on.  We were so uneducated it was funny.  We brought an axe.  AN AXE.  That thing weighed a ton!  Now we just needed a destination.  I wanted to keep it simple and close for the first time out.  It would be just the two of us to see how it went.  I planned a canoe float trip that was only a few hours from home but seemingly in the middle of nowhere.  Perfect!  This also made it much easier for us to be able to have our packs in the canoe instead of having to try to carry all of the unnecessary (and HEAVY!) things we had acquired.  The company we enlisted would haul us and the canoe upstream to a put-in point.  We would then float down the 26 miles over the next couple of days to the company's property which was our ending point.  We could camp anywhere we wanted along the river as long as there wasn't a "Private Property" sign.

I had been car and RV camping as a child and always loved it but I couldn't imagine what this "roughing it" experience would do for me as an adult.  Upon setting out into the wilderness, I remember being thoroughly giddy.  This is a feeling that I hadn't had in a very long time.  I felt like I could breathe for the first time in ages.  We canoed, we fished, set up camp along the river, made a campfire, ate dehydrated meals, stargazed and fell asleep to the coyote's song.  I was a little sore the next morning from having paddled the canoe the day before but that didn't matter.  For the first time that I could remember since being a child, my soul felt alive.  This.  This was the missing puzzle piece.  The wilderness, being one with nature, the adventure.

After returning home I felt rejuvenated.  This was exactly what I had needed so I did what any (somewhat) sane person would do.  I started planning the next adventure.  Obviously, we needed to get our shit together as far as our gear was concerned.  We couldn't afford new gear right then after already having spent a small fortune on the "wrong" stuff.  I started researching backpacking and gear, subscribed to several outdoors magazines like Backpacker and Outside so that when it came time to make new purchases I would be well educated.  I researched places to go, "must do trails" and figured out how long it would take to get there since a lot of them were out-of-state.  "If we take turns driving overnight then we'll get to the trailhead around 4 am and can sleep for a couple of hours in the car before hitting the trail," was a common thought when it came to destinations.  Crazy, I know but you do what you must for the sake of the adventure.

New Mexico, just outside of Ruidoso, was the next adventure.  This was a true backpacking trip.  There was something so exhilarating about having everything I needed to survive for the next 3 days stuffed into a pack and carrying it on my back.  The packs were still heavy as fuck but I didn't mind.  I was young and could handle whatever it took to be able to be out there.  My first time backpacking, doing it at elevation, having come from basically sea level, 16 miles over 3 days and I rocked it!  I was officially addicted.  THIS is my happy place.

The planning and going, the time put in researching and then being able to carry out that plan, that is what saved me.  The adventure fed my soul and gave me back something that I was desperately needing but it was the planning that kept me going day to day.  I had a trip planned every summer to an outdoor destination, spring break, and every 3-day weekend was mapped out to include a backpacking adventure.  When I was feeling down, I would research destinations.  It didn't matter that I already had stuff planned.  The thought of a new place, a new adventure helped me to make it through some very dark times.  I would remember the feelings while on the trail.  I'd look through the photos and I'd think about the sounds, the smells, and how my pack felt, the comforting weight of it.  "If I can just make it to the next trip, I'll be fine," became my mantra.

I know first hand what suicide can do to a family.  I made a promise to my children to never put them through that so that is the reason I held on when I wanted nothing more than to give up.  I guess one would argue that it was my kids that saved me.  While that is not untrue, I was simply going through the motions of what needed to be done.  I was existing without living.  Adventure is what saved me from the dark abyss, the prison that had trapped my soul.  Yes, I still struggled but now I had something to look forward to. The coals of a long-dormant fire had been stoked and it now burned within me and has yet to be extinguished.  I am not saying that backpacking is for everyone because it isn't.  However, there is a healing quality within nature.  Adventure gives us back something we lose in the transition from childhood to adulthood.  I know it saved me from a place that I couldn't have dug myself out of otherwise. 

I honestly believe that it is time for us to rewild ourselves in order to save ourselves. 

Peace, love, and light.  Blessed be.

*If you or a loved one are having suicidal thoughts, please seek help.  You are not alone! *
   

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Call 1-800-273-8255

Out of the (Broom) Closet

Someone recently told me that she was "Out of the Shaman closet but not the Witch closet".  Me being the curious type and having an almost non-existent filter asks, "So why is it that you feel like you can come out as a Shaman but not as a Witch?" Her answer, sadly, was not surprising.  For some reason it is more acceptable to be a Shaman than it is to say you're a Witch.  

Shamanism is associated with the Native American culture even though the path of the Shaman is followed by many more people and cultures than just the Native Americans.  It is an ancient way and not associated with a particular religion. "Shamanism is a practice that involves a practitioner reaching altered states of consciousness in order to perceive and interact with what they believe to be a spirit world and channel these transcendental energies into this world".    

sha·man

noun- a person regarded as having access to, and influence in, the world of good and evil spirits, especially among some peoples of northern Asia and North America. Typically such people enter a trance state during a ritual and practice divination and healing.

1. synonyms:

   medicine man/woman, healer, kahuna "several American doctors have consulted our shaman"

- copied and pasted straight outta Wikipedia!  Shamans were highly respected.  They were/ are healers.  They were sought out for their wisdom and knowledge and were often considered to be "seers".  And here you thought you weren't going to learn anything new today! ;-)

The Witch, however, is a completely different thing.  For some reason, "Witch" has long been associated with satanic worship.  You do understand that as a Pagan or Witch, we do not believe in Satan, right?  This is what you get when you look up "Witch" in Wikipedia... 

witch
noun 1.a woman thought to have magic powers, especially evil ones, popularly depicted as wearing a black cloak and pointed hat and flying on a broomstick.

1. synonyms:

   sorceress, enchantress, necromancer

   • 
     
2. 2.

   informal

   
   

   an ugly or unpleasant woman.

   
   

   "he can marry the old witch for all I care"

   
   

   synonyms:

   hag, crone, harpy, harridan, she-devil;  informalbattle-ax "she's a nasty old witch"

3. 
   
4. 
   

verb

1. 1.

   cast an evil spell on.    

Are you fucking kidding me?  No wonder "Witch" is so taboo.  Its definition associates it with evil, ugly, and raising the dead.  Wow.  Just wow.  I hope that those reading this post understand the extent of the persecution that women have faced for hundreds of years because of the word "Witch". 

Apparently, it is still a big issue.  Not a "burning at the stake" type of issue but it is definitely not an accepted word in some circles.  In this day and age, I seriously do NOT understand this.  Of course, we still live in a world where human rights are an issue so I guess I shouldn't be surprised.  However, this post is not about those issues.  I'll save that rant for another time.

I am proud to use the title of both Shaman AND Witch.  This has been a long time coming for me.  It has always been my path and I have known that for quite a while.  I tried to suppress the person that I was in order to not make waves with my ex-husband (a post for another time) and to TRY to conform to society.  Well, anyone that knows me could tell you that was never going to happen.  I didn't use the word "Witch" before but I was far from what society would call "normal". 

As a child, I was the girl with bare feet caked in mud holding a toad (or snake or a crawfish or some other creature I found out there) in one hand while climbing over the fence that separated my backyard from the creek behind us.  I was definitely classified as a tomboy but more importantly, a wild child.  I use that term to define my connection with nature at an early age and not my behavior.  I wasn't happy if I couldn't be outside.  I have never been afraid of any animal, although mosquitos can burn in hell.  I have a connection with animals that is undeniable.  My friend got to witness this firsthand this past weekend when we met a beautiful praying mantis with a message for me.  I remember sitting still in the field behind my grandparents' house and just listening to all of the natural sounds I could hear.  How many children do you know that would do this at a young age without someone telling them to? Exactly.  Not many.  This came naturally to me; I needed it.  

I realize now that what I was doing as a child was feeling the energy of the Earth.  That's why it was so important for me to sit and listen.  Even back then I needed that natural energy to be able to get through the day.  It is this natural energy that we as Witches call upon.  It is nothing evil, distorted, or perverted.  It is the air we breathe, the water we drink, the Earth we walk upon, and the fire that warms our homes on a cold winter day.  It's the trees and plants, the animals and insects, the dirt and stone.  Everything has its own energy and it is beautiful and amazing.  This is NOT evil.  The Wiccan Rede states "An Ye Harm None, Do What Ye Will".  Here is the link for the full version:   https://wicca.com/celtic/wicca/rede.htm  As Witches, we are typically very careful of the energy or spells we put out into the universe.  Part of the Rede reminds us that everything will come back to you three-fold.  That would be some scary shit if you intended to do evil or harm.  The Witches that I have met are some of the nicest people on Earth.  We recycle, do rituals to help heal Mother Earth, send healing energy to friends, loved ones, and pets, and volunteer our time.  We are on the opposite end of the spectrum from evil. 

In the future, I hope to create a safe space for witches and other spirituals to talk freely.  It would be a place of love and acceptance.  It would also be a support system for those that are still in the broom closet or are trying to come out but have no idea how to do so.  It can be scary, depressing, and anxiety-inducing to think about the possible rejection by loved ones, friends, or co-workers.  We could share ideas here on how to educate our loved ones about our ways so that it doesn't seem so taboo or frightening for them. 

I have always been a Witch at heart and in my soul.  My call to be a healer as well.  I was so excited to learn that I could mesh the Shaman with the Witch and didn't have to choose between the two.  Both are such a huge part of who I am, who I am meant to become.  It's my journey and my path is becoming more and more clear to me.  Stay tuned...

Peace, love, and light.  Blessed be. 

Let's get to know one another...

In the beginning there was... nothing.  Absolutely nothing.

It was the beginning so of course you have to start with nothing, right?  Well, I guess you can start with an idea. This is my attempt to make something where there was once nothing.  Anyway.  Is it just me or is the first blog always a bore?  I am SO NOT a boring person and would love for my first blog post to not be the usual boring stuff.  However, I find it necessary to go through with the traditional introduction type things.  If you are looking for a blog that covers one topic in particular, "this is not the blog you are looking for..." My blog will be eclectic, sassy and full of curse words, just like me.  If you are easily offended or of a more conservative nature, a.k.a stick-up-your-ass, then I'm probably not your cup of tea. Move right along please. 

So.  Why am I starting a blog?  I have found myself having full conversations in my head about various things.  "Beckie, you should really seek professional help for that."  Yeah, yeah.  Been there done that and I'm still having these conversations.  No, I am not crazy.  Well, ok, I'm a little (a lot) crazy but not that kind of crazy.  I am actually a bit of a hot mess though.  My loving boyfriend would try to tell me that I'm not but he'd be wrong.  My bestie would agree with me.  In fact, she and I are often quite the hot mess when together.  I know, I'm off topic.  See, hot mess.  I have been through the ringer in my (almost) 41 years and I believe I have a lot to say.  Maybe, just maybe, someone will find something here that helps them and that alone will be worth it.

I had a fucked up childhood.  A dad I never really knew that chose to leave before I was born and just checked in when it was convenient for him.   Multiple step-fathers, one that sexually abused me.   A mother that would not stop smoking even though the doctors said it was killing me.   I had severe asthma as a child and sadly did not outgrow it.  It is milder now and well managed.  My only real father figure (my maternal grandfather) passed away when I was young.  I have struggled with depression since I was a teenager.  I had a baby at 18 (but I wouldn't EVER change that.  She was and is a true gift from the universe).  I married my high school sweetheart just before our daughter was born. We also had a wonderful son 6 years later.  After 21 years of never being truly happy (and the marriage was seriously fucked up on so many levels.  Look for my installment on that), we called it quits and separated in late May of 2017.  My daughter and her partner/ fiancee live in Ohio and my son, now 16, lives with me.

I grew up in and around Fort Worth, TX.  This was extremely difficult for someone like me, liberal and "different".  I knew from a very young age that I was supposed to be somewhere different.  Growing up in a place that you know you aren't meant to be is exhausting and frustrating.  In my late 20's I discovered Colorado.  I was so in love with a place I had never been before, at least not in this lifetime.  I had to get there somehow.  It took 10 years after my first actual visit but I finally got my wish on 12/27/14.  My soul was finally home.  Now I am a true crazy hiking lady.  I'm obsessed.  So many trails and so little time!  I also discovered skiing and fell in love with the sport.  Oh! and snowshoeing! Did you know that REI has a class for that? Really?? You put them on and walk.  I don't know why anyone would pay for a class on snowshoeing but cheers to REI for getting people to believe they need to.

I suppose that is enough rambling about myself for now.  If you're wanting to know more about what you can expect here, I'm not quite sure yet.  One day might be a rant about how people leave dog poop bags along the side of the trail and the next might be a video of some crazy ass adventure with my bestie.  Some posts might be about everyday things and others will be of a more personal nature like surviving and fighting to overcome sexual abuse, depression and suicidal thoughts.  I'm sure I will also be posting plenty of spiritual things on here since that has become such a huge part of my life's path.  You might see posts about how to protect yourself as an empath, spirit animal topics, crystals, past lives, ect.

Peace, love, and light.  Blessed be.