In the beginning there was... nothing. Absolutely nothing.
It was the beginning so of course you have to start with nothing, right? Well, I guess you can start with an idea. This is my attempt to make something where there was once nothing. Anyway. Is it just me or is the first blog always a bore? I am SO NOT a boring person and would love for my first blog post to not be the usual boring stuff. However, I find it necessary to go through with the traditional introduction type things. If you are looking for a blog that covers one topic in particular, "this is not the blog you are looking for..." My blog will be eclectic, sassy and full of curse words, just like me. If you are easily offended or of a more conservative nature, a.k.a stick-up-your-ass, then I'm probably not your cup of tea. Move right along please.
So. Why am I starting a blog? I have found myself having full conversations in my head about various things. "Beckie, you should really seek professional help for that." Yeah, yeah. Been there done that and I'm still having these conversations. No, I am not crazy. Well, ok, I'm a little (a lot) crazy but not that kind of crazy. I am actually a bit of a hot mess though. My loving boyfriend would try to tell me that I'm not but he'd be wrong. My bestie would agree with me. In fact, she and I are often quite the hot mess when together. I know, I'm off topic. See, hot mess. I have been through the ringer in my (almost) 41 years and I believe I have a lot to say. Maybe, just maybe, someone will find something here that helps them and that alone will be worth it.
I had a fucked up childhood. A dad I never really knew that chose to leave before I was born and just checked in when it was convenient for him. Multiple step-fathers, one that sexually abused me. A mother that would not stop smoking even though the doctors said it was killing me. I had severe asthma as a child and sadly did not outgrow it. It is milder now and well managed. My only real father figure (my maternal grandfather) passed away when I was young. I have struggled with depression since I was a teenager. I had a baby at 18 (but I wouldn't EVER change that. She was and is a true gift from the universe). I married my high school sweetheart just before our daughter was born. We also had a wonderful son 6 years later. After 21 years of never being truly happy (and the marriage was seriously fucked up on so many levels. Look for my installment on that), we called it quits and separated in late May of 2017. My daughter and her partner/ fiancee live in Ohio and my son, now 16, lives with me.
I grew up in and around Fort Worth, TX. This was extremely difficult for someone like me, liberal and "different". I knew from a very young age that I was supposed to be somewhere different. Growing up in a place that you know you aren't meant to be is exhausting and frustrating. In my late 20's I discovered Colorado. I was so in love with a place I had never been before, at least not in this lifetime. I had to get there somehow. It took 10 years after my first actual visit but I finally got my wish on 12/27/14. My soul was finally home. Now I am a true crazy hiking lady. I'm obsessed. So many trails and so little time! I also discovered skiing and fell in love with the sport. Oh! and snowshoeing! Did you know that REI has a class for that? Really?? You put them on and walk. I don't know why anyone would pay for a class on snowshoeing but cheers to REI for getting people to believe they need to.
I suppose that is enough rambling about myself for now. If you're wanting to know more about what you can expect here, I'm not quite sure yet. One day might be a rant about how people leave dog poop bags along the side of the trail and the next might be a video of some crazy ass adventure with my bestie. Some posts might be about everyday things and others will be of a more personal nature like surviving and fighting to overcome sexual abuse, depression and suicidal thoughts. I'm sure I will also be posting plenty of spiritual things on here since that has become such a huge part of my life's path. You might see posts about how to protect yourself as an empath, spirit animal topics, crystals, past lives, ect.
Peace, love, and light. Blessed be.
No comments:
Post a Comment